Getting Through Divorce #divorcehelp #divorcetherapy

21

Sep
2015
Posted By : Sally Dee 0 Comment

HOW TO MOVE PAST BEING ALONE

Divorce. Not easy for anyone. I see many people that need help and counseling through the changes that divorce will be bringing to their lives. They often seek the support of therapy to help them move forward with their lives and be happy. Many want to understand how they can be better versions of themselves so they won’t make the same mistakes in their next relationship.

But what I see again and again is a fear of being alone.

After years of being married and having a partner by your side, being alone can feel overwhelming and bring out feelings of loneliness, anxiety and even depression. The same thing that many people fear in the beginning of their divorce often ends up being the best part of their new life.

Here is how to enjoy your newfound time alone:

1. Create a new “family” tradition.

Family doesn’t have to be a traditional structure. Family can consist of good friends and people that you love. Spend time with people you are close to. Don’t wait for the invite- ask to stop by, cook out, go for coffee.

2. Help others

Nothing is more grounding than helping people in the community. If you have a service, provide it for free to someone that couldn’t normally afford it. Help at a food bank or something that appeals you. You will be surprised at how energized the body and mind feel after being generous with others.

3. Focus on the positive.

Notice your tendencies and when you feel out of alignment with “joy”. You can change your interactions with others by slowing down. You can even change your interactions just by focusing on the good and positive. Cooking for one can be lovely when you focus on how great it feels to make a great meal just for you with all your favorites in it.

4. Do what you love.

You are the decision maker now. How do you want to fill your time? You can spend a whole Saturday reading a book. If you are doing what you love, being alone feels really good.

5. Get outside

Go for a walk and contemplate the beauty of your surroundings. A guided hike is a great way to meet other people, too. Or really go for the great outdoors and plan a solo trip- there are tons of group travel options where you could meet other people like on a yoga retreat.

Just because you are single, does not mean you have to lonely. There are so many ways to get involved and connect with others. The thing about being single is you get to choose when to be with others and when being by yourself would be great. You are meeting your own needs and that is really, really rewarding.

Dating Advice: Know Yourself To Find The Right Relationship

08

Jul
2015
Posted By : Sally Dee 0 Comment
BESTAs I work with my clients, I help them find and revel their true selves. During this process, they become able to clarify and embrace their goals for both personal and professional lives and make those “changes” that support their search for a partner who fits best with their lifestyle.
 
“Susan” came to me trying to understand why she just couldn’t find a man who would be stable enough to continue a relationship. As we talked, it became apparent that she was choosing the same type of person time and time again without realizing it. They all had different degrees of personality, education, and career, but, ultimately,  none of those men could sustain the early weeks/months of “behaving well”, so to speak.
 
Susan began to look at her history and reasons why she chose the men she did. We worked to create a profile for her and the man she hoped was out there for her. Not an “online profile” but rather a personal inventory of who she is, what she wanted in life and future goals.
 
It became clear that she sought out men who did not fit her “ personal inventory and dreams”. Once she began narrowing down the type of person she really wanted, she found someone! Her new boyfriend is a better fit better than anyone she previously dated. The result is that Susan is happier because her needs are being met. Together, we continue to focus on what is different this time around.
 
Having that clear vision helps.  Self-discovery is an eye-opening experience, and the rewards are great.
 
The service I provide helps you to figure out what has worked or not worked, who you are, what you want out of life, what your values are, and what you future goals are. Sometimes this also includes financial goals, and if you chose someone with different financial habits, you might find yourself extremely frustrated. 
 
I see many people hanging onto unfulfilling relationships only to experience anger, anxiety and frustrations.
 
As a relationship consultant, who also happens to be a licensed clinical therapist, we will talk through six major points that influence your relationships.
 
Expectations, what are yours, and your partner?
Understanding yourself and who your partner is, is an important factor healthy relationship. We must remember there are differences in outlooks, gender influences and the realization that both our families and our upbringings have had a huge influence on our outlooks on life and relationships. 
 
My relationship counseling will help you understand yourself so that you can pick the right person. Developing the skills to a build healthy relationship is not uncommon. Most of us learned by watching our parents’ or parent’s relationship(s), so we may have seen the red flags, but ignored them. But, by really getting to know yourself you learn to identify the red flags and not ignore them!  I will give you the tools to help you see a positive future, take chances, move forward, and let go of the past.
 
Please feel free to comment, or ask me questions. 
I’m passionate about helping people find a better way to a satisfying and happy future. See you soon!