Joyful Living: Where to Find Love

26

Aug
2015
Posted By : Sally Dee 0 Comment

When it comes to dating, where do you even begin? Maybe when we were in our twenties, the bar scene was the most obvious option. But after you sign on for your first real job and have more responsibilities, the thought of going to a bar to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right might seem less interesting. It is natural when we are in our twenties, to find connections more easily. We tend to be more involved with others at this period of our lives.

That is the keyword: INVOLVED. Because- I know where you won’t meet someone….sitting on your couch! While you might want to spend some time investing in online dating, the majority of your time should be spent socializing and creating friendships with others. The biggest mistake you can make is to just go home every day after work and do nothing. Being single is not a waiting period. Enjoying the friendships and the freedom you have to explore, can lead to more possibilities of making a lasting love connection.

The first step to dating is to get out into the world with a sense of exploration and humor.

Here’s how you open the doors to finding love:

1.Get involved

Think of the activities that you love. Create a list and then find local options for you to do what you love. Love yoga? Start going to a yoga class. If you see a cute man or woman in the class, put your mat near them and make small talk. Joining a social club, running club or any club can also be a great way to grow a new network of friends and possible dates.

2.Consistency to Build Community

Make a schedule that creates consistency. If you are a “regular” somewhere, you are more likely to find someone else that is too. Seeing someone at the same place and the same time, might make it easier for both of you to start a conversation.

3.Give yourself enough time at places

If you rush in and rush out of somewhere, like that yoga class I mentioned above, you miss out on the possibility of conversation with others. Build in “lingering” time into every activity you do. If you look like you are rushing, other people that want to chat with you will think you are too busy and leave you alone. You don’t want that!

4.Get online

After you have spent time connecting and being involved with activities, then get online. Online dating sites can deplete your time and even lead to feelings of depression. Look at it as a supplement to your already busy social life, not the lifeline. The book, DATA: A Love Story by Amy Webb, has some great tips on how to be an online dating PRO.

5.Make eye contact

Looking into someone’s eyes might seem so simple, but eye contact is how humans create intimacy. If you find someone interesting, let your eyes hold for a second or two longer than you might normally do. You might start to feel the electricity just from that!

Let me know how these steps work for you! Find me on Facebook at Joyful Dating!

Dating Advice: Know Yourself To Find The Right Relationship

08

Jul
2015
Posted By : Sally Dee 0 Comment
BESTAs I work with my clients, I help them find and revel their true selves. During this process, they become able to clarify and embrace their goals for both personal and professional lives and make those “changes” that support their search for a partner who fits best with their lifestyle.
 
“Susan” came to me trying to understand why she just couldn’t find a man who would be stable enough to continue a relationship. As we talked, it became apparent that she was choosing the same type of person time and time again without realizing it. They all had different degrees of personality, education, and career, but, ultimately,  none of those men could sustain the early weeks/months of “behaving well”, so to speak.
 
Susan began to look at her history and reasons why she chose the men she did. We worked to create a profile for her and the man she hoped was out there for her. Not an “online profile” but rather a personal inventory of who she is, what she wanted in life and future goals.
 
It became clear that she sought out men who did not fit her “ personal inventory and dreams”. Once she began narrowing down the type of person she really wanted, she found someone! Her new boyfriend is a better fit better than anyone she previously dated. The result is that Susan is happier because her needs are being met. Together, we continue to focus on what is different this time around.
 
Having that clear vision helps.  Self-discovery is an eye-opening experience, and the rewards are great.
 
The service I provide helps you to figure out what has worked or not worked, who you are, what you want out of life, what your values are, and what you future goals are. Sometimes this also includes financial goals, and if you chose someone with different financial habits, you might find yourself extremely frustrated. 
 
I see many people hanging onto unfulfilling relationships only to experience anger, anxiety and frustrations.
 
As a relationship consultant, who also happens to be a licensed clinical therapist, we will talk through six major points that influence your relationships.
 
Expectations, what are yours, and your partner?
Understanding yourself and who your partner is, is an important factor healthy relationship. We must remember there are differences in outlooks, gender influences and the realization that both our families and our upbringings have had a huge influence on our outlooks on life and relationships. 
 
My relationship counseling will help you understand yourself so that you can pick the right person. Developing the skills to a build healthy relationship is not uncommon. Most of us learned by watching our parents’ or parent’s relationship(s), so we may have seen the red flags, but ignored them. But, by really getting to know yourself you learn to identify the red flags and not ignore them!  I will give you the tools to help you see a positive future, take chances, move forward, and let go of the past.
 
Please feel free to comment, or ask me questions. 
I’m passionate about helping people find a better way to a satisfying and happy future. See you soon!

Why You Need To Feel Again- Therapy Advice for the New Year

02

Jan
2015
Posted By : Sally Dee 0 Comment

Human beings are hard-wired to “feel”. We need to touch, talk and connect with each other to maintain optimal health, both physical health and mental health. In fact, if babies do not get enough cuddling and love within their first year of life, it affects the development of their brain growth.

Feelings are natural, and yet complex. To feel emotions requires a “give and take”. Sometimes it hurts to feel something. Sometimes it takes great courage to feel and to express what we feel. Sometimes others do not reciprocate our feeling, and that hurts.

To avoid feeling emotions that cause discomfort, we may begin to create barriers for ourselves. For example, we may not talk about our emotions, or be as tender with our loved ones, or we avoid intimacy in a number of other ways.

When we block ourselves from feeling; we are also limiting our ability to feel positive emotions, like joy and happiness. While at first it may seem scary to be so open, but allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable and then honestly evaluating our faults, fears, weaknesses, can offer true liberation.

The Law of Attraction states that what you give out is what you get back. So if you act reserved and closed off, others will mimic that energy. So let the walls crumble, and let your authentic self shine, and others will do the same.

Drugs and alcohol are another way people numb themselves from feeling and fool themselves into thinking this kind of connection is authentic. When you start to accept and understand your feelings, the desire to numb is diminished. Instead, you want to enjoy every blessed moment you have on this planet.

If you don’t even know where to begin to connect with feelings again, I can help. If you have been finding relationships never seem to work out for you, this might the reason. If your conversations with others always seem shallow, I can help. If drugs or alcohol usage is interfering with your life, I can help.

Don’t let another year pass where you hide away. Step into the world and FEEL again. You might get hurt, yes. But you will allow yourself to feel the wonder of closeness, joy and love in a way that nourishes you in every way.