Four Mantras for a Healthy Relationship

The Four MantrasFrom the time we are just teenagers, we come to understand that relationships are hard. We get wounded from cycles of love, from the passion and to the heart-wrenching break-ups. Sometimes we are the one causing the pain while other times we are on the receiving end. Until at some point in our adult lives, we may find the person that we want a long term relationship with, the kind of relationship that fosters growth, acceptance and true love. And then we realize that this too is hard. Feelings get hurt until emotions get pushed deep down inside leading to a relationship that doesn’t feel as fabulous and authentic as it did in the beginning. Thich Naht Hahn, a prolific writer and peace activist, nominated by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. for the 1967 Nobel Peace Prize, asserts that there are four mantras that can help build healthy relationships of love. He uses the word “mantra” for these statements because they are not just one-time thoughts, but questions to bring into your relationship over and over again. The key is repetition. The next time you are having some difficulties in your relationship do not suffer in silence. Draw your partner near you and follow the guidance of Thich Naht Hahn:

I am here for you.

How comforting is it to know someone is there listening to you? And do just that- LISTEN. You don’t need to add your perceptions or judgments, just be there.

I know you are there, and I am very happy.

How reassuring it is to know someone is beside you! This comfort will soften your partner and let them know you appreciate them.

I know you are suffering. That is why I am here for you.

How good does it feel to know that someone understands your hurt? Be there with understanding and compassion.

I suffer. Please help.

How hard is it for you to ask for help? Don’t let pride stop you from voicing this need. Even the strongest people need help. These four mantras can lead to a compassionate relationship built on love, openness and honesty. They may help you to go deeper than you ever imagined was possible in the connection of two people. For more relationship counseling please call and schedule an appointment today.