Joyful Living: Where to Find Love

26

Aug
2015
Posted By : Sally Dee 0 Comment

When it comes to dating, where do you even begin? Maybe when we were in our twenties, the bar scene was the most obvious option. But after you sign on for your first real job and have more responsibilities, the thought of going to a bar to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right might seem less interesting. It is natural when we are in our twenties, to find connections more easily. We tend to be more involved with others at this period of our lives.

That is the keyword: INVOLVED. Because- I know where you won’t meet someone….sitting on your couch! While you might want to spend some time investing in online dating, the majority of your time should be spent socializing and creating friendships with others. The biggest mistake you can make is to just go home every day after work and do nothing. Being single is not a waiting period. Enjoying the friendships and the freedom you have to explore, can lead to more possibilities of making a lasting love connection.

The first step to dating is to get out into the world with a sense of exploration and humor.

Here’s how you open the doors to finding love:

1.Get involved

Think of the activities that you love. Create a list and then find local options for you to do what you love. Love yoga? Start going to a yoga class. If you see a cute man or woman in the class, put your mat near them and make small talk. Joining a social club, running club or any club can also be a great way to grow a new network of friends and possible dates.

2.Consistency to Build Community

Make a schedule that creates consistency. If you are a “regular” somewhere, you are more likely to find someone else that is too. Seeing someone at the same place and the same time, might make it easier for both of you to start a conversation.

3.Give yourself enough time at places

If you rush in and rush out of somewhere, like that yoga class I mentioned above, you miss out on the possibility of conversation with others. Build in “lingering” time into every activity you do. If you look like you are rushing, other people that want to chat with you will think you are too busy and leave you alone. You don’t want that!

4.Get online

After you have spent time connecting and being involved with activities, then get online. Online dating sites can deplete your time and even lead to feelings of depression. Look at it as a supplement to your already busy social life, not the lifeline. The book, DATA: A Love Story by Amy Webb, has some great tips on how to be an online dating PRO.

5.Make eye contact

Looking into someone’s eyes might seem so simple, but eye contact is how humans create intimacy. If you find someone interesting, let your eyes hold for a second or two longer than you might normally do. You might start to feel the electricity just from that!

Let me know how these steps work for you! Find me on Facebook at Joyful Dating!

An Unhealthy Gut & Anxiety

24

Sep
2013
Posted By : Sally Dee 0 Comment
Categories :Blogs

I always like to consider thinking, “outside of the box,” and I believe some “alternative ideas” really can and do work. Please take a moment to read:  http://abcnews.go.com/Health/anxiety-head-gut/story?id=20229136

I have known about Dr. James Greenblatt, a Boston-area psychiatrist, for some time now. He worked at McLeans Hospital when I was receiving my clinical training. McLeans is a premier mental health facility that works with Harvard’s Medical School.  Greenblatt does not practice “alternative medicine,” rather he is an expert psychopharmacologist. He has since left McLeans and is now a clinical faculty member at Tufts Medical School.

“Dr. Greenblatt, like many others, are beginning to recognize the power of healthy gut bacteria. The average adult carries up to five pounds of bacteria — trillions of microbes — in their digestive tract alone.

A recent study in the journal Science showed that thin and fat people have different bacteria — a discovery that could lead to weight-loss programs. Doctors have also been using fecal transplants to seniors when their gastrointestinal health is compromised in nursing home living.”

Dr. Greenblatt believes there may be a link between what’s in your gut and what’s in your head. He goes so far as to suggest that certain bacterias actually may play a role in the following disorders such as anxiety, schizophrenia and autism. “In some patients, the strep bacterium has been linked to OCD in a condition known as PANDAS.”

“According to, Jane Foster, associate professor of neuroscience and behavioral science and part of the McMaster University & Brain-Body Institute.

“Anyone who has a mental health disorder that coincides with a GI disorder is a good candidate for probiotics,” she said.

One such candidate was Adam Johnson, who since the age of 5 has struggled with ADHD, anxiety and some mood disorders, and has been treated with a variety of medications.

“We know now he had too much stimulation and realize his brain worked differently than everyone else’s,” said his mother, Kay Lynn Johnson of Massachusetts.

“Adam is a very slow processor and deep thinker and has an incredibly divergent brain going a thousand miles an hour all the time,” she said.

For many years, he was treated by a well-respected pharmacologist and a therapist, according to Johnson. But prescription medications were not working well enough, and by the time he was 14, his family turned to integrative medicine looking for a “broader range of tools.” His urine and blood tests found a bacterial imbalance.

“I don’t want to bad mouth drugs — they have a place,” said Johnson. “But I think there’s more to learn.”

Last year, he was taken off all medications, put on a special diet and treated with probiotics. “Friends, family and his teacher were amazed,” said his mother.

Today, Adam is in honors classes, playing clarinet in the band and doing well. “It’s been a real triumph,” she said.”

For a more in depth look on this topic, I recommend reading:

Peace in Reflection & Hope in the New Year

21

Dec
2012
Posted By : Sally Dee 0 Comment
Categories :Blogs

As we head into the last week of December 2012, during therapy and in my blog, I thought it might be positive to reflect on the choices we make. My work this week has been filled with much of the following: positive reviews of the year’s progress many of my clients have made in my practice, along with sadly, conversations about what led to the tragedy in Connecticut. Many of us continue to process it all through the shock and ask, “How did it get to the point of a young man feeling the need to make such a horrendous choice?”

I have had young mothers talk about their own anxieties, and they explain to me that their anxious feelings are now heightened. The mothers know they need to let go and try to go on living life in a “normal” fashion, but they fight the urge to never let their own children out of their sight for a single moment.

Others have talked about what they can do to make a difference in the daily lives of others. Some are now connected to the 26 Acts of Kindness on Facebook and Twitter. I have begun to renew my own acts of kindness and realized that I stopped a few years ago. Surprising people with kind acts is always interesting and fun and simply makes you feel happier.

Hopefully, the conversation will seriously begin now about how this tragedy might have been averted if mental health was looked at differently. When my clients begin this conversation about their own feelings about coming in to talk and discover the intricacies of their minds, I always remind them that healthier people come in for therapy. Therapy is healthy for you and your loved ones. It leads to better relationships, feeling more positive, making better choices and an overall higher self-confidence. Who wouldn’t want those things?

Often this leads to a conversation about the stigma of therapy. A handful of clients pondered, “Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone had yearly mental health check-ups?” As I looked at next year’s schedule and confirmed with clients whether or not they wanted to continue on the same level of attendance, they all laughed and said, “Of course, where else would I be?” (In the same vein as, “Silly therapist, of course I will be here!”)

I have high hopes for us all in the next year. May we look at our lives and make positives choices, help others, do random acts of kindness every once in a while, not forget how lucky we are to live where we do, and share our lives with people who love and cherish us. Have a wonderful last week of December, begin 2013 with high hopes and consider therapy as just another way to stay young and be healthy. I will see you in January!